Break Free From Comparison And Define Your Own Success
This past week was hard.
Not just emotionally challenging or a little off, but one of those bone-dragging weeks where everything takes more energy than it should. I live with a chronic illness that’s triggered by heat and humidity, and let’s just say summer time in my part of the world did not play nice.
On days like these, when I require more rest than action, I notice the thoughts creeping in.
"How do other therapists do it all?"
I’d be lying if I said I don’t still get pulled into the mental spiral. But the truth is, the very thing that limits me also makes me a more attuned, compassionate therapist.
The therapist part of me knows the comparison trap. I talk about it with my clients all the time. However the human part of me, the one living in a body that doesn’t always cooperate, still struggles with the pull to measure myself against people running an entirely different race.
And I know I’m not the only one.
As therapists, we exist in a world that often celebrates productivity, high caseloads, and perfectly curated online presences. In therapist Facebook groups, I see posts about revenue goals, ideal schedules, and group practices scaling to 7-figures.
It’s not that these goals are bad, in fact, I cheer people on who are chasing them! But when living with a chronic or hidden illness like ADHD, depression, autoimmune conditions, or cancer recovery, it’s not just hard to keep up, it’s often impossible.
I sometimes describe working as a therapist with chronic illness as running a race with one leg tied.
There’s an invisible resistance our colleagues don’t have to face.
Other therapists might knock out 20 sessions a week, run supervision groups, write a book and still have energy to build an online course. Meanwhile, you're using every ounce of effort just to show up for the clients you do have, document notes, and recover between sessions.
And that’s enough simply because your “enough” isn’t measured by anyone else’s standards.
3 Ways I’ve Reclaimed My Own Definition of Success
If you find yourself caught in the cycle of comparison, especially while navigating the limitations of chronic illness, here are a few practices that have helped me breathe again:
1. Your Goals Don’t Have to Be Their Goals
I remind myself daily that I’m not trying to build someone else’s business. I’m building a practice that aligns with my capacity, my needs, and my well-being.
2. Get Honest About Your Capacity - And Optimize Within It
Fatigue, pain, ADHD - whatever your challenge is, it matters. Honor it. Find what works: maybe it’s a shorter workday, a week with fewer sessions, or using AI tools to make documentation less exhausting. Adjust your rhythm accordingly.
3. Practice the Same Grace You Give Your Clients
We tell our clients not to compare their trauma, healing, or progress. We adapt therapy to meet them where they are. Why wouldn’t we offer that same individualized grace to ourselves?
If you’ve ever felt like you’re falling behind, not motivated enough, or somehow less-than because your body or brain demands more rest, please hear me:
You are not falling behind anyone.
You are simply navigating more.
If this resonates and you’re ready to stop measuring your success by someone else’s metrics, let’s talk. I’ve lived this life. I work with therapists who live this life. You don’t have to do it alone, and you certainly don’t have to keep pushing yourself past your breaking point just to keep up with someone else’s pace.
Book a free call with me here
The best support comes from people who get it—and I do.